Friday, 25 May 2012
CREDIT: MISCHIEVOUS KISS OFFICIAL WEBSITE (SEUNG JO'S DIARY COLUMN)
Translated to Chinese By: Korea Version Mischievous Kiss
Translated to English By: reena29shadow
Edited By: ChaBori204
EPISODE 10
“Mom, I'll call.” “I'm off, Eun
Jo”
Hope that I was able to convey that
messages through Eun Jo to you.
I was looking at you but you were in
your own miserable world and didn't bother about me. Couldn't hug you
like Eun Jo, couldn't be like Mom, couldn't even say "take care of
yourself when I'm not around", only could look at you...
To accompany me to go further, now you
have to take a rest. So let's do our best to fly higher.
We...Hope that you will be able to find
it within days. Try hard to find it.
The sad face that seems like I'll
never see again...still came in the end.
It's been a long time. You waving your
hand while saying “Hello”. Went into my heart without permission.
Maybe unknowingly I was also looking forward to it? That's why I was
happy when I saw your face.
What should I do? You...
What do I mean to you? How could you be
so perserve towards me...
The love you have for me, never
ending...Why won't I find you irritating? Look at you secretly while
I was working is also something interesting.
Looking at you holding the coffee cup
with both hands, the way you yawned, biting your pencil, titling your
head when you met with question that you didn't understand.
You could be very happy even when
alone, Oh Ha Ni. Now it has become like a habit, you are just like
oxygen to me. Just like a tree that's always by my side.
What happened? It's been a few days
since I saw Ha Ni. Is she unwell? Couldn't be about studies.
Waiting is a torment. You felt tired as
well? To wait for me. Where are you now?
Like as if my legs were floating,
couldn't sit down to do something. It's been two weeks since Ha Ni
last came. Am I missing her?
Just concern about that person who came
here everyday stopped coming anymore suddenly. Only because of this?
I couldn't calm down.
Been very sensitive to the sound of
door opening. Trying hard to find you everyday, but it always
dissolved to nothing.
Like a fool...silly. Might as well
asked it directly!
Bearing all these alone, turning this
pale. Seeing you suffering, why does my heart hurt as well? My heart
really hurts. I know this would happen, that's why I came to look for
you immediately. Don't get hurt because of Yoon Hae Ra. Silly. Can't
you have more confidence in yourself?
You are so stong-willed. Putting your
best into everything, Oh Ha Ni. The Oh Ha Ni who will tear for
other's pain, the one and only Oh Ha Ni. To yourself...
That's right. I had nothing to say
either. I did misunderstood about you and Sunbae too. Why would we
became like this? We will understand if we really think about it. But
we always got angry for all the little things...
Am I infected by your disease? The Fool
disease.
It's not even half a day since I told
you that I'm not living with Hae Ra and you appeared. Being in the
rain, even your lips turned to purple. How did you endure it? Really
want to come here that much?
You...Don't know what should I do with
you.
Getting caught it that rain,
shivering. Seeing you walked in, I had no idea what should I say.
It really hurts me to see your lips
turning to purple, but looking at you not cherishing yourself, really
wanted to scold you. Why are you so stubborn?
Can I understand it this way? I'm just
standing here, don't have to do anything. Just continue to accept
your feelings, can I?
You always shock me. Just looking at me
and dash forward without caring about others. I still couldn't be
like you. Only you able to do it.
Saying I'm cold-blooded just because I
wasn't letting her slept on the bed. I could actually feel Ha Ni who
was lying beside me. Body tensed up because of being nervous.
“You...are you nervous?”
“No...no..”
Saying the opposite thing that your
body felt. Silly, it's not only you who were feeling nervous. I felt
nervous too. Although I'm a cold prince, but the young blood in me is
not frozen. Always try to mix my feelings for you into the harsh
words, to attach it firmly to the thing that I call rational.
Spending a night with me and didn't
know what would happen. Example like kiss. Yes, I actually wanted to
kiss you, wanted to feel that warmness.
But if it really happens under this
circumstances, I don't know what would happen.
You were really warm behind my back.
But...but...but I could only restrain myself.
A 20 years old guy, sending off a girl
who walked into the dark room. Do you know that it's something very
difficult to do? It's not even a girl that I dislike...
During times like this, guys are all
animals!
So, I could only hide my feelings under
the thing called 'prank'.
How could you throw your undergarment
like that and went into the bathroom? Silly Oh Ha Ni. What are you
making me imagine? Are you really a girl?
Although I always making fun of you,
saying that you stopped growing since primary school. But that was
all jokes. You can't take it for real.
You wearing bathrobe appearing infront
of me, it's really disturbing. The faint smell that came from your
body, the pale shoulders...I'm always hiding from it.
Don't blame yourself. Even if your
figure is not that amazing, not that great. Oh Ha Ni! Your existence
is already very precious and beautiful.
I'm just not willing to live my life
like how Mom has planned. I'm just sick of having such a special Mom.
Because of Mom who brought me up like a girl, my friends made fun of
me.
Even when I was in primary school, some
of them still remember the days when I dressed up as a girl. I hate the me who accept everything
that people planned, also hate the Mom did this to me.
Since young, I have shut the door in my
heart. Maybe this is the reason why I'm so harsh to my parents. I
can't allow my Mom to treat me like this anymore. If anything happen
between us, it will just like what my Mom wish for.
I can't accept that. The deep feeling you have for me, my Mom will feel it even deeper. I might be sick
of it very soon and then run away from it. So, today I will tolerate
it. You, who is just like the spring breeze blowing in my heart.
Tonight, sleepless. Looking at your
face, my heart is softening.
CREDIT:
MISCHIEVOUS KISS OFFICIAL WEBSITE (SEUNG JO'S DIARY COLUMN)
Translated
to Chinese By: Korea Version Mischievous Kiss
Translated
to English By: reena29shadow
Edited
By: ChaBori204
EPISODE
9
“If you like Hae Ra, I... but, why
didn't you pull Hae Ra with you when you run but me instead?”
Oh Ha Ni who asked all the stupid
questions.
You are always making wild guesses and
because you always indulged yourself in all the wild guesses you
make, that's why you couldn't see my heart.
Can you, even for just one second,
stand still and take a look closely into my eyes?
Look how big your position has become in my eyes. If you see it, you will know the reason why I left
Hae Ra and pulled you to run with me. Silly Oh Ha Ni.
“I don't hate you. Although being
with you is not easy but I don't hate you.”
It feels really sudden. It's like
solving a math question.
Right, that's it. Oh Ha Ni, you are too
different from me. How you show others your uncondition love. How you
say you hate it but still braving forward to get close.
In the beginning I had no idea how to
get along with you. Then slowly I started to see you. After looking
clearly, I understood it.
I understood that not everything must
be like what I think to be correct. Understood that you are not
wrong. If the question is not wrong, then let's find out. Slowly...
To be honest, the day when you injured
yourself and we had to give up the competition. When I was carrying
you home, I understood that it needs to be stopped. Stop building up that
protection wall in my heart.
Your breathe on my back gave me warmth.
So happy, it's like finding the puppy that was lost. Felt like the
separation for the past few days were all paid back. No matter how I
pushed you away, you still walked in despite anything.
I decided to accept it. Just let my
heart be. Like a river that couldn't be stopped, praying that it
won't be too tiring.
Because I allowed my heart to be free,
my heart who was once mixed up because it couldn't understand what
kind of person I really am, now looking at you.
From now on, I'll not going to hide
from it. From now on, I'll be staying here for a while, waiting for
this girl.
You seem like you can hear the water
flowing with just one touch...You who seem like you can flow through
my fingers...
Now, I'm starting to try to understand
you...
Oh Ha Ni! Sometimes I really couldn't
understand what kind of girl are you. It's really difficult to
understand you. Doing all these infront of so many people, how can it
not become a joke for others?
You might think that you are an upright
person and also same for other people. Then, you are wrong! Please be
more vigilant when you with other people. I will be very thankful.
I purposely walked away, acted like I
didn't see it. The way Ha Ni get along with other people... Although
I know that I can understand you because I know your innocence.
Not sure if it's because I decided to
accept Oh Ha Ni, really get mad easier anytime. Compared to the time
when Bong Joon Gu carried Oh Ha Ni, compared to the time when she
squated behind the bushes with Sunbae, this time it felt angrier.
They even kissed?
It can't be real, right? It can't be!
The person Oh Ha Ni likes is me. She only likes me. I tried very hard
to contain my anger but it didn't seem to be working.
The amount of capacity you occupies in
my heart equals to how much I hate this moment. Like being stuck in
the middle of the road, couldn't breathe.
“The rumour with Sunbae...”
“I'm really scared, I afraid that
I've done anything wrong that will cause Eun Jo to be in danger...”
While sobbing, you confessed the
feeling that you didn't dare to before. You, who were crying in my
arms, hugging you like this, I couldn't say a word. Although I felt
better after hearing Sunbae explaining the situation, but because I
felt sorry for being suspicious about you even for that second. So, I
purposely ignored you.
Though I know that my cold eyes make
you very sad but there's this boy in me who has not grown up. Even
so, you still treat my brother so... The concern for Eun Jo, worrying
for Eun Jo, the anxiety about the rumour. Hugging the trembling you,
today is the first time I feel that the boy in me who didn't want to
grow up is so hateful.
Cry...cry all you might, till you no
longer feel sad, till your tears no longer in pain...
“Such a small kid, doing check up
everyday, injection, medication, couldn't do what he wants to do.”
Unknowingly, tears started to form in
Oh Ha Ni's eyes. Even if you cry, it didnt' help anything. But you
are always like this, crying for others. Right, it's this kind of
heart.
Things you have, the warm care you have
for others which is what I don't have.
“If it's you, if you are determine,
to become a doctor is just like flipping a coin. I hope you can
become a doctor and help those children like No Ri and also many
other patients who are being tortured by illness..”
“I have to become a doctor just
because you said so?”
“Yes! That's it. Isn't that a good
idea? Doctor is the profession most suitable for you. Baek Seung Jo
wearing a white robe should look really handsome.”
As if it's about yourself. Looking at
me with much more confident in me than I have in myself, saying that
she hopes I can become a doctor.
Oh Ha Ni....suddenly I felt that, maybe
that isn't that bad. Taking care of sick patients, curing
people...also felt that it's something very far away.
Only now that I realize, the fear that
I have for the area that I don't understand. Able to help those
people who are suffering from illness. Maybe it will be like what you
said, it's something with great achievement.
At that time, I still didn't know that
the things Oh Ha Ni said today becomes an important factor in my
life.
You looked once at the star, once at
me...
Me, looked once at you, once at the
star although we didn't look straight into each other's eyes.
“It'll be really thankful if you
don't become a burden!”
Although it's out of habit, the harsh
words blurted out of my mouth.
But I hope that you are able to receive
my thoughts. It's great that you came back...
Oh Ha Ni, welcome back Oh Ha Ni...
My thoughts were in mess because of
the things you asked me. “Hope that you will become a doctor.”
The things that you said that day, it
appeared in my mind every night.
Is that really I should do? Can I do
well? Can I get out from the world that is full of myself?
I saw a different kind of world through
you. Understand that a different world is just being different. It's
not that it's wrong. I want to experience this world more. Even if by
doing that, I'm not able to be with you.
Today, I learn to leave you. Walking
towards the path that you taught me to, alone...
“I think now is the best time to
consider what I want to do in the future. I wish to be left in an
unprotected world, to find myself again.” After considering for a
few days, I told my parents my thoughts.
“Ok, you should go experience it.”
Though I told my Dad who was worried
about my future, that I'm not interested in studying Economics, but
Dad is always supporting me. I should be thankful to him.
“Ha Ni just moved back not long
ago...” Mom is still worries about Ha Ni.
“This got nothing to do with her.
This is my life.”
In fact, Mom might not know actually
this has got all to do with her. She didn't know that it's Ha Ni who
showed me the other world.
Only hope that Ha Ni won't feel hurt.
Hope that you will understand that I moved out not because I dislike
you...Don't just because you are not the magnificent flower and felt
sorry. I hope that you will realize your unique values.
Know that under the intense heat, even
a small tree is very precious. Know that even a small tree that is
able to accept everyone is very precious.
Although it's normal, but there's lots
of things you can treasure in this world. This, is what you taught
me.
Tuesday, 8 May 2012
CREDIT: MISCHIEVOUS KISS OFFICIAL WEBSITE (SEUNG JO'S DIARY COLUMN)
Translated to Chinese By: Korea Version Mischievous Kiss
Translated to English By: reena29shadow
Edited By: ChaBori204
EPISODE 8
Now my world is very peaceful. Nothing
will happen for the whole day kind of peaceful. No laughter or any
breaking noises kind of quietness and peacefulness. That kind of
peacefulness is like there's a tree, but no leaves at all.
Actually, that is what I like. No, it's
what I feel I will like.
Mom who thinks that she knew
everything, asking me wasn't this what I disliked? Didn't I decide to
get into Paran University because of the peaceful that I dislike? I
couldn't say anything.
It just like trimming away a branch
that looks out of the place. But, started to notice more about that
empty space.
This is the meaning Oh Ha Ni threw to
me.
<Baek Seung Jo and weary Oh Ha Ni,
Bong Joon Gu's pink mode>
Great! Getting into another round of
gossip again? Oh Ha Ni!
“Maybe this is struggling to get Baek
Seung Jo to show some concern about her? Even I'm sick of it. Feels
tired of it.” Heard people mumbling around.
You said, “No! I've forgot about Baek
Seung Jo already. Baek Seung Jo has nothing to do with me anymore.
We are not leaving together anymore, we have parted ways” when Hae
Ra tried to make things difficult for you.
Ok, it has nothing to do with me
anymore. If that was what you think, I've ended it too.
But why was it that unconciously my
expression went stiff. Also the fist that I clenched so tightly...
Suddenly, this heartless Oh Ha Ni feels
so unfamiliar.
“Hey, is there anything that Oh Ha
Ni can't do? Where did that Oh Ha Ni who went into Top 50 within a
week went to?”
Always feel that she will improve.
Heard that she's still in-charged of picking tennis ball after so
long. She joined because of me. So, I felt kind of responsible for
it.
So I shoud do the teaching. Even though
it started because of the trap set by Sunbae, but it's also the
responsible that I felt for getting you into this club.
To defeat them within a week might be
impossible. I just hope that you will have that bit of improvement.
“Oh Ha Ni, she's very serious.”
Really? Others could see that too. How
she's putting in effort. Oh Ha Ni is this kind of people, listen to
me well.
“What can you expect from just one
week? It's just interesting.”
There's a joy to cultivate her. She's
not outstanding but she's very hardworking. She put in more effort
than anyone else is her merit.
Just like when tutoring her. Improve
today, improve more tomorrow. It's very obvious. Gradually, growing
gradually.
Even when she's tired or even bleeding,
she won't stop. This is something very interesting.
Yoon Hae Ra, no matter it's you or me,
we are those that are able to learn just by looking. So, we won't
know how is it like to put effort into learning. We don't know the
joy of learning after much effort, don't know how it feels when you
see something you really like. We won't go around hugging people when
we are happy. We won't hit others when we are laughing. So, all these
make people feel happy, is her charisma.
Influenced by her smile and
slowly...changed...
“Ya, what are you doing? Still not
speeding up?!”
This kid who know nothing about
cooking, must be feeling lost now.
I walked towards the canteen
unknowingly. As expected, she's lost like a kitten. Whe she saw me,
it's like she saw a saviour and asked me for help. Her habit of
bringing others trouble is still as before.
But, why didn't I say anything and just
went into the kitchen? My legs and heart were no longer in a team. My
brain could no longer control them.
Just like Oh Ha Ni. She still managed
to make me got into the apron. Oh Ha Ni, you are really something!
How did I become like this? Me, who is
not interested in anything except myself...
Lifting your head like you were
smiling...
A small snail, the shell starts to
break into pieces...
When you were tired after the whole
day of training, “Ya! Get up!”
The girl who sprung to her feet upon
hearing this. Although this girl kept grumbling that she's tired, but
she would never run away from it.
Right, that's you, Oh Ha Ni. Noah's
snail Oh Ha Ni.
Slowly, slowly, sweat dripping
downwards. The path that you walked, I'm with you today. One two
three. One two three.
“I like you. What about you?”
Yoon Hae Ra said that she likes me.
But, it's like looking into the mirror. I have no special feeling for
her. Because we read the same thing, we feel the same. We have many
topics in common. It's just like buddy. It feels peaceful to be
together.
But, the arrogance that were concealed
by the magnificence appearance, getting hurt just by a gentle touch,
harsh words that we say regardless of what others feel, it's like
another me. Not interesting...
My answer is...
What? Oh Ha Ni! Again? Why were you
always with the other guy infront of me? You'll be dead today! I must
get to the bottom of it today!
What about Yoon Hae Ra? Compared to
giving her an answer, this girl is more important. This girl who was
standing beside someone else other than me was making me felt angry.
Just took Oh Ha Ni's hand like that.
I'm surprised myself too. The me who does all those make me feel
weird, making me not knowing what to do next.
Right, this is it!
Only Oh Ha Ni could do it. Making me go
into the exciting world, leading me into the frightening world of not
knowing what will happen next.
And also, making me feel interested and
moved all the time. Feel myself alive and breathing.
CREDIT: MISCHIEVOUS KISS OFFICIAL WEBSITE (SEUNG JO'S DIARY COLUMN)
Translated to Chinese By: Korea Version Mischievous Kiss
Translated to English By: reena29shadow
Edited By: ChaBori204
EPISODE 7
You kept asking about Yoon Hae Ra. When
I asked if you were jealous, you said no. Silly, your face said everything about how Yoon Hae Ra has affected you. You gave me a
chance to tease you today. Haha.
“Are you jealous now? Ah, you should
be. Afterall, we are in a relation that we even kissed.”
You moved your face over a little,
expecting something. Did you think I will kiss you?
Silly, do I look like that kind of
person? I'm not an easy guy! Haha.
Look at your embarassed expression,
even your ears turned red. Your full of expectation expression was
just like a small kid. This is really interesting. But I just ended
there. It's really a pity to see this myself.
That moment, she definitely ran back to
her room and jumping around in anger when she realized that I was
teasing her. Teasing her is an interesting as playing with a toy.
Why didn't you come to our elective
class? What were you doing? I actually felt a little dissapointed.
Would you be at the canteen during lunch?
Oh Ha Ni, you still can't run away from
me. Seeing her mumbling about the menu, she really looked silly.
Couldn't she read without saying it?
Suddenly appearing behind her. When she saw me, she was so happy like
a doggy met her owner.
Like imitating me, saying “me too”,
then sticking out her tongue shyly. But why did Bong Joon Gu appear
again? Following behind a girl, he's really that free?
Oh Ha Ni, you are so happy. Everything
is good?
Didn't know how to play tennis but you
insisted on getting tennis attire as though it's special. But, Oh Ha
Ni, you walked to the wrong place. It will be a very tough for you. For you not to join in, I gave you so
many hints but you still think that Wang Kyung Soo Sunbae is kind and nice.
Ok, I will show you the true self of
the Sunbae that you respect.
Oh Ha Ni praised for Sunbae is like
pricked to my ears. So, I purposely hit the ball towards the
direction that Sunbae couldn't catch it. Looking at Kyung Soo Sunbae running here and there, it made me felt much better.
“When respecting other's entity, we
fell in love”. Someone said that. If love means throwing away my
entity, to fulfill other's freedom, that feeling is called hate. The
love will only fail.
Compared to Sartre, Yoon Hae Ra is more
concerned about the relationship between Sartre and Beauvoir.
Indeed. What woman is concerned about
is not the author itself but the relationship between the author and
others.
Acting like she's really concern about
Sartre, but actually is on other people. To me, this woman is also
just another smart female.
You always said that I'm fickle in
love but actually you are no different. Even when going to elective
class, you also brought Bong Joon Gu along. Someone who couldn't even
understand English, how can he understand something so difficult?
Attending this lesson together, other than speechless, there's
nothing else I could say.
I don't understand why do I feel so
frustrated watching Oh Ha Ni and Bong Joon Gu together.
Professor asked a very rediculous
question. You asked me about it when you didn't understand but I
acted like I didn't see it.
In front of her, I always become like a
childish boy.
You were still so happy moment ago.
Your expression changed the second you saw Yoon Hae Ra. All your
thoughts were on your face and yet you always denied it.
“To find some information for a group
project, you go study at the living room.”
Acted like I'm explaining to my
brother, but actually it's to tell Ha Ni about the reason why Hae Ra
was there.
Please don't make yourself feel bad
because of your pride. Don't be mistaken.
An ant crawling into a lifeless flower
made of clay. That ant said that the flower was real and that flower
seemed as if it gotten life from it.
Although i'ts small and slow, but
living life with great value, just like someone.
No idea how much energy, how long
journey need to spend to get into that flower. Just like walking into
my tough heart.
Leaving? Really leaving?
A feeling that I couldn't tell. Keep
asking myself.
“Dissapointed? Why...why must I feel
sad? It's good anyway. Anyway, I'm just going back to my original
lifestyle.”
But, my voice sounded weaker and
weaker, like there's something stuck in my heart. Also felt that as
if it's a friend that has been with me for a long time leaving.
Leaving me alone in the dark night.
Let it be, let it be...
Although I said that, but still feeling
a little bad. Take care. Just like how this door closed, my heart
might also close...
Back to the time without you.
Without you, like suddenly overcome by
all the uneasiness, feel a little awful.
I'll be fine, soon...I'll be fine.
You might have something to say to me
before leaving. So, I kept walking to and fro outside your door.
For this period, I should say “Sorry”
to you, or should I say “It's really interesting.”
But I still feel really awful.
Why this suddened? Why I made her feel
so bad? Didn't say any nice words to her. Keep fooling her. Was it
too hard to bear?
That's why I let you leave.
It's really ok. Anyway, Oh Ha Ni is
just an entourage right?
Me, who can solve anything myself, this
is the first time I asked something I couldn't answer myself. Felt a
little nervous.
The sun shining on me seems like it
turned cold.
The doll that I gave to you, you
bringing it around you, why did you leave it here?
Even got into accident just to pick
this up. Don't you remember that? The day when we were catching the
doll, you kept shouting “Left, right, towards the side a little...”
You were even excited than me, tapping my shoulder.
So happy, at that moment. It's like you
cleared away the bad mood that accumulated over years.
Didn't want to show my truth feeling.
That day was chaos.
Looking at you who couldn't even
control your own feeling, it felt really amazing. Kept tapping my
shoulder, kept talking.
You, who invaded my territory, a little
irritating, but it also shocked me a little.
I finally can make myself smile at you.
But the doll that you left behind seems like telling me, from now on,
we have ended.
My heart hurts. My heart that doesn't
feel anything. Today, it feels like being stabbed with a knife. Very
miserable.
;;
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
